#and theyre like hes cooler than you and im like I am fully aware thanks besties. this bro has so much lore
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Actual quotes from session zero of my dnd campaign:
Player: "I don't want weapons, no spells, can my only thing just be 'throw hands'?"
DM: *sigh* "You just want--"
Player: "To throw hands, yes."
DM: "Alright. You're a monk now I guess"
Player 2: "FUCk. we all have loving families. god dammit." *looks at me* "Well. most of us"
Me: "yeah--"
Player 2: "Your fake mom just died by suicide"
Me: "Okay, I get it--"
Player 2: "and then you became a gladiator about it? girl--"
Me: "ok listen it was apparent suicide that means it totally could have been murder--"
Player 2: "hey dm what's the funniest dnd response I could do rn"
DM, regretting this: "Probably 'roll for insight'."
Player 2: "Hey I roll for insight."
Me: "This is why I keep taping cows to your door. I hope you know that."
#writing community#not writing#dnd#none of these people have played dnd before#we've got maybe three people who have played before#and im over here just like yeah uh. ive played three campaigns and my dad regularly dms for fun. like two different campaigns#every week. a specialty one shot campaign. he makes his own maps#and theyre looking at me like is this the dad who plays rocket league and Elden ring and baldurs gate#and im like yes. yes it is#and theyre like hes cooler than you and im like I am fully aware thanks besties. this bro has so much lore#anyways this campaign is gonna be funny as fuck nobody here knows wtf theyre doing.
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